Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Problem

I thought my dad was gone, but I still heard him in the house.  He thinks he has something with me.  I'm wary of him thinking about moving or not.  If so, as an adult, I will stay here.  We are pretty stationed to stay here.

So, I dunno what's the big deal with some things.

What did I do wrong?  Just my general show or the summation and answer of my general attitude?  All I did was feel I wanted him to stop sitting there hurting me and like blabbing about what he wants to claim something someone I like is cool with that's not good.  Now, my eyes feel like they ended up furrowing and popping out and are not as expressive now.  I can improve.  I guess I have to learn to tolerate this torture.

Also, I'm worried they will use my happiness as a bargain, to take advantage of me like they have making me do things to, like, serve them, to keep a relationship in the experiment.

You know, I didn't really make a crazy deal over this and lose it, finding someone I like that I'm not as close to and could very sadly lose in some like 1% possibility it seems.  Everyone else seems to have somehow made it too big a deal, and that's not a good thing.  I feel so agitated from it.  I wanted to settle things and feel what's what.  I just couldn't do it.  Not yet.

Things aren't going good in a way, since tho I am onto being good I get told it's not about the little details we think up but an overall picture of others's opinion of right and wrong.

Now, I just kinda freak out if people look at me with a strange questioning expression and message.