Monday, December 21, 2015
"Losing Marbles?"
I think Ellen DeGeneres.. it's good she has a more mature adult life. However, part of it was that it hurts her feelings if someone doesn't sever their relationship with me if they're popular. There's a connection. It's ultimately to destroy my livelihood.
Discovering Sensitivities
My dad didn't like how I closed their door to bed. He was being harsh on me thinking that would help. With closing the door, I know he's sensitive about it, then.
Just Sorry, I Guess
My teacher and others think this was an adventure with the kicking but not me. I was out of control. I think I fixed it myself, tho.
Stupid Question!
If I don't deserve anything as you say life is chance, why do others deserve to mess with my fate and have theirs spared a fight but me the opposite?
Problems
If you don't have anything nice to say to me, why say it?
They keep giving me remarks/asking questions that don't make sense, things that don't help to do.
They keep giving me remarks/asking questions that don't make sense, things that don't help to do.
Problem
My dad was acting really mean.
In 2013, I kicked the chairs of 2 boys in a community college theater class in a way that seemed to be "flirting" partly.
I did this cuz people kept getting to me and they knew it but acted like they didn't. Also, it didn't hurt the boys. No one in my life helped stop what a lotta people do to me.
People keep trying to make me feel bad about it now.
Other things you may want to know is I used to leave the class, for instance if I felt the teacher was bothering me and went to counseling. My teacher said not to leave and do that. Also, when I asked her about an assignment cuz I was in financial aid when she gave it, she ripped my paper with her pen and was being violent. Once I got a wrong assignment asking a student, and that's when she bothered me, too.
How does that make me a mean, bad person? I wasn't trying to onset an attack with anyone. I said it was more like "flirting" and so didn't hurt.
Also, my dad was acting like the teacher told him to relay what he did, but I find out from real people they don't do these things, too.
People are trying to get back at me for the occasional once in a blue moon moments when I have a hard life and mean no harm.
In 2013, I kicked the chairs of 2 boys in a community college theater class in a way that seemed to be "flirting" partly.
I did this cuz people kept getting to me and they knew it but acted like they didn't. Also, it didn't hurt the boys. No one in my life helped stop what a lotta people do to me.
People keep trying to make me feel bad about it now.
Other things you may want to know is I used to leave the class, for instance if I felt the teacher was bothering me and went to counseling. My teacher said not to leave and do that. Also, when I asked her about an assignment cuz I was in financial aid when she gave it, she ripped my paper with her pen and was being violent. Once I got a wrong assignment asking a student, and that's when she bothered me, too.
How does that make me a mean, bad person? I wasn't trying to onset an attack with anyone. I said it was more like "flirting" and so didn't hurt.
Also, my dad was acting like the teacher told him to relay what he did, but I find out from real people they don't do these things, too.
People are trying to get back at me for the occasional once in a blue moon moments when I have a hard life and mean no harm.
People Upset
Ellen DeGeneres can do whatever she wants and it's fine with me, like concerning getting attention.
It just hurt me to get the message from my dad. A day of no Ellen on Twitter?
What are people mad at me about? I have a right to know.
I just was talking about my cousin but not in a bad way.. She is superstitious about my cousin and doesn't realize I'm not her moral slave sometimes. I'm already nice to her. They want me to be submissive to her. I'm not out there to be submissive to anyone.
Also, they kept rubbing what they claim she thinks in. I just wanted it to stop. Well, if various arrangements have been made to make my life less exciting by them so be it. No one wants to talk to me, anyway.
It just hurt me to get the message from my dad. A day of no Ellen on Twitter?
What are people mad at me about? I have a right to know.
I just was talking about my cousin but not in a bad way.. She is superstitious about my cousin and doesn't realize I'm not her moral slave sometimes. I'm already nice to her. They want me to be submissive to her. I'm not out there to be submissive to anyone.
Also, they kept rubbing what they claim she thinks in. I just wanted it to stop. Well, if various arrangements have been made to make my life less exciting by them so be it. No one wants to talk to me, anyway.
Issue
So, it's like someone's mad at me and sorta "messing around" saying someone is better than me or something's only for them cuz I said something and I'm out to them and I'm not sure exactly why. People are "playing around" with me. I think my dad made it so no one could be nice to me. It's like the limbo for Bella Thorne, aha ha ha.
This is pressure on me and assuming I'm bad when I'm not.
I'm just saying. I don't believe in reserving things like I would be otherwise. So, if I do one little thing that someone later says they have an issue with it's out? Is it like they have so many particularities they could not ever recite them all?
I don't really care what the crowd thinks because of me and never did.
I'm not even making as big a deal about this. People think that what I do will affect it at all, too. Weirdos. I certainly do not believe it.
I think it's important everyone is happy. The only reason people are happy about Bella Thorne getting what I earn is that they know I still get it and that it's possible they will, like her.
I think with me around, kids tend to hold off. They want it now. They can't seem to say what they want about me.
Adults want different things or the same things in different ways.
Ha ha, so I'm safe online and can highlight these points. You wouldn't believe the liberties others take online. These points are not to be taken in offense. I feel people find me a nagging person cuz they don't wanna talk to a mixed race person who believes in themselves racially and as a person.
Maybe, others think they have the right to be mean to me.
Either way, it seems my purposes in life are slipping, which include to meet people and not to be embarrassed/humiliated. Maybe, you think it can't matter. Then, what's wrong with me saying all this? It's not "bad."
I understand that it's a bit much and that crowds are hard to please for some/a lot of things. They just think thye're all that.
I guess you can look at the way Bella Thorne is involved in some other way than me being in trouble.
What will anyone get out of being mean to someone like me? Maybe, some people just seem mean/upset. Fine, I understand if people do not want to give me attention, but I deserve to be as respected as anyone else. Maybe, they think it's unfair I'm just lucky with good parents.
I guess you can ask yourself am I really that good? I'm just a normal person suffering but no great achiever in life personally. It's crazy. People are in a trans like they have to be like the haters of Jesus and the Nazis under Hitler to me. Some people are nice but have issues.
It is fun to give children attention if they can hold it. It's usually uncomfortable. Teenagers seem to have strong moods and act very self-centered by nature.
This is pressure on me and assuming I'm bad when I'm not.
I'm just saying. I don't believe in reserving things like I would be otherwise. So, if I do one little thing that someone later says they have an issue with it's out? Is it like they have so many particularities they could not ever recite them all?
I don't really care what the crowd thinks because of me and never did.
I'm not even making as big a deal about this. People think that what I do will affect it at all, too. Weirdos. I certainly do not believe it.
I think it's important everyone is happy. The only reason people are happy about Bella Thorne getting what I earn is that they know I still get it and that it's possible they will, like her.
I think with me around, kids tend to hold off. They want it now. They can't seem to say what they want about me.
Adults want different things or the same things in different ways.
Ha ha, so I'm safe online and can highlight these points. You wouldn't believe the liberties others take online. These points are not to be taken in offense. I feel people find me a nagging person cuz they don't wanna talk to a mixed race person who believes in themselves racially and as a person.
Maybe, others think they have the right to be mean to me.
Either way, it seems my purposes in life are slipping, which include to meet people and not to be embarrassed/humiliated. Maybe, you think it can't matter. Then, what's wrong with me saying all this? It's not "bad."
I understand that it's a bit much and that crowds are hard to please for some/a lot of things. They just think thye're all that.
I guess you can look at the way Bella Thorne is involved in some other way than me being in trouble.
What will anyone get out of being mean to someone like me? Maybe, some people just seem mean/upset. Fine, I understand if people do not want to give me attention, but I deserve to be as respected as anyone else. Maybe, they think it's unfair I'm just lucky with good parents.
I guess you can ask yourself am I really that good? I'm just a normal person suffering but no great achiever in life personally. It's crazy. People are in a trans like they have to be like the haters of Jesus and the Nazis under Hitler to me. Some people are nice but have issues.
It is fun to give children attention if they can hold it. It's usually uncomfortable. Teenagers seem to have strong moods and act very self-centered by nature.
Not Playing
I guess what I didn't get was if I get something I good I don't deserve it it's only for Bella Thorne.
Claim
Supposedly, Ellen DeGeneres is mad at anyone who talks about something small like something big, like getting your driver's license because once I just posted about getting contacts for the 1st time. She suggests others are being bad to be like me, seriously, I was told I think by Bella Thorne. It sounds like a real thing Ellen DeGeneres would say but would disclaim in some way to stay out of trouble.
I just cursed about illegal, hurtful noises in my room she relayed she put there. She thinks it doesn't matter and that even if not cursing about here is still bad.
I just cursed about illegal, hurtful noises in my room she relayed she put there. She thinks it doesn't matter and that even if not cursing about here is still bad.
Problems
It seems like if I find myself in a certain relationship, it's attempted to be said to be unworthy of me, like it would be taken away if possible.
I think I have been judged for something that bothered me about what could be and not sure what to make of it. I guess I could say part of it is for the idea that others have needs and I am not a part of the solution. It has already affected me. It's as tho it's like a game with others, to see how much I can stay positive or submit, for no real reason but for reasons others find to make sense. Even when it is said that it doesn't matter, it does. I just kinda gave up and left it.
See, my dad is testy and thinks I need to be punished. Other people think so, too. I think I am being good and never meant to hurt anyone tho found some people cared about it and found it inappropriate and offensive.. so I stopped.
I'm not sure what to disclaim in my attempts at this post. I'd like a better understanding that makes sense. I have claimed I never meant anything bad and am trying to be better. I thought I had a right to how I felt. I find if it's this same reason it does not make sense. It's like it's a game.. Sometimes, others are wrong but still do what they do that was wrong. They are supported by others and no one cares. People argue that you're supposed to hurt people cuz people are bad. I really never followed to be mean to others to make things interesting or right. What I didn't believe was letting people put me down. I don't turn the other cheek. I don't attack others, neither. I only defended myself. I've been trapped and tortured psychiatrically. So, I went on on that. I bet it was for others to stay safe and not be hurt for being nice to me.
I think I have been judged for something that bothered me about what could be and not sure what to make of it. I guess I could say part of it is for the idea that others have needs and I am not a part of the solution. It has already affected me. It's as tho it's like a game with others, to see how much I can stay positive or submit, for no real reason but for reasons others find to make sense. Even when it is said that it doesn't matter, it does. I just kinda gave up and left it.
See, my dad is testy and thinks I need to be punished. Other people think so, too. I think I am being good and never meant to hurt anyone tho found some people cared about it and found it inappropriate and offensive.. so I stopped.
I'm not sure what to disclaim in my attempts at this post. I'd like a better understanding that makes sense. I have claimed I never meant anything bad and am trying to be better. I thought I had a right to how I felt. I find if it's this same reason it does not make sense. It's like it's a game.. Sometimes, others are wrong but still do what they do that was wrong. They are supported by others and no one cares. People argue that you're supposed to hurt people cuz people are bad. I really never followed to be mean to others to make things interesting or right. What I didn't believe was letting people put me down. I don't turn the other cheek. I don't attack others, neither. I only defended myself. I've been trapped and tortured psychiatrically. So, I went on on that. I bet it was for others to stay safe and not be hurt for being nice to me.
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