Problem

I just went to get some water and my parents were still there.  My mom seemed "self-satisfied."  My dad didn't say hi.  I had my earplugs on and said hi.  He usually says hi.

Look, I wasn't that bad.  I just didn't realize the way it seemed.  Technically, I made it.

Now, they are attaching the death of Natalie Cole to my favorite holiday and when I might have a kid someday.  They are picking at me like my mom was right and I was wrong.  It's suggestive and inappropriate to do.

My dad was being mean saying, "It's like the death of Audrey," whistling, self-satisfied like I'm not that good.

You know, I can't trust these people, anymore.  For *beep* sake I was just going to get water and check Twitter and find this.

Is the only place I'm safe church?  Or away from people like my parents at times?  My mom even said maybe we're too close, which is weird it would happen.

My dad doesn't get it that I disagree it seems, just keeps doing things against me.  He keeps acting like I'm bad now secretly but won't admit it so I can stop him.  I am not bad.  What is this?  More fighting against me as I pass in for water?  I understand if he's a certain way with some things, but it shouldn't be all this fake telling me I'm bad.  That's where he draws it from.

I'm running out of brainpower.

So, I used to be more physical when mad.  Now, I just feel taken aback and report it here.  I did take that into account.  Curse words have come.  What's the matter with me?  I tried not telling my mom she bothered me yesterday.  I just set out to deal with people and racism.  I could not trust anyone.  I didn't want to be vicious, but people actually shook their head to my face.  I cleared my throat and tried to get them to stop and accept me and make it seem right.  They were bad.  They smiled bemusedly too.  Most people here smile bemusedly.  They act like I'm just some desperate s***.  What did I do, then?  I realize it's not good for me.  But what, is this the cause of something?  It sounds like Ellen DeGeneres did it.

Do you know why my dad and people act tackily like they're "just acting like me?"  He thinks he's taking care of his oldest sister by being mean to me.

Okay, not sure what all else to say.  Sorry this post is not so clean, neither.  I tried.

Problems

Someone is k***ed because of problems to do with me?  It sounds superstitious and false, not a reason but a punishment.

I am afraid they want a relationship I have to end and not mean anything by bribing me with things like this and having me not talk about them or some such as the bargain.  This is silly.  My dad also keeps telling me things like that, like, "Don't do this or else this," and another catch.  It's like someone I like started it and he's partly just the messenger.

I feel that my life has high points that are given up for others, like it has to be for them more or something.

It's like they keep telling me I can't have a relationship I have.

This is all for no good reason.  You'll find it doesn't matter if an even bigger problem arises.  This is not okay.  I dunno, I think my dad is doing it, too.

I know the writing isn't exactly poetic, but I haven't tried to say anything bad.

No one has the right and grace to be mean to me like that.

Life only lasts so long, too.  If you're looking for the end, there it is.

I think this was a surprise.

Sorry again, I know this isn't good writing like the last post.  I just wanted to say that things are being done to stress me out like I can't do things cuza things I've done that shouldn't matter to people in my life now.  I edited it a little bit of it.  I might nap now.  I was on a walk before.  I read over it a few times, and I just need to stop.  It's like I'm getting dizzy, but not physically.

Strange, Suspicious Deaths

Natalie Cole just died.  I found out checking Twitter.  So, we remember her death on the New Year?  That's going to be tragic.

Sometimes, I wonder if Ellen DeGeneres is having people die and get killed because of things I've done, but I hope nothing like that is happening.  You know, I am being experimented or spied on.  They never were mean like this before, roughhousing me.

I think I'm pretty good.  When I am upset in some way there is a legitimate reason.  I am proper as I can around who I am around.

Ellen DeGeneres seems to be doing this because I cursed about the hurtful, illegal noises she put in my room.

The people experimenting on me are acting weird, too.

I feel I'm being pursued, hunted down.  Ellen DeGeneres seems to be behind it, for some reason.  She seemed to act like she was, and my oldest aunt thought it was overly obvious and without a question.

They are being mean to me now whereas before they drew me in to their experimentation or spying with positive messages, and I said they didn't have to do it.  They think my flunking and getting mad punching holes in my wall is the reason.

It seems that when someone gets told off, it happens once.  With me, they aren't stopping.

You know, it seems like her death was planned for the New Year, my favorite holiday and when I hoped then if I have kids to have one of them then..  It sounds like they were picking at me telling me to live with Chinese-Indonesians and forget my life.  I told my mom what I was thinking.  I wasn't being bad.  She was.  She kept making me feel bad.

So, supposedly, Ellen DeGeneres or the experimenters know I like the New Year and to have a child around then maybe and everyone involved in my life is just okay with this, all these deaths made to stimulate me at certain times and tell me I'm bad when I'm not and they are.

Before people complimented me for who I was kinda a lot.  Now, they are saying I've done bad things no one knew and are being mean and getting mad at me when they're mean and I defend myself.  I was just having a conversation.  I wasn't yelling really.  They keep picking at me like I'm bad and doing these things like they don't matter.

They just said someone I liked did it!  Why do they keep shocking me?  For some reason, it reminds me of Ellen DeGeneres.  They keep acting like I was bad.

I don't mean for you to think I'm being mean to Ellen DeGeneres, as I'm not.  She acts like she is doing this and my oldest aunt is, too.  Why is everyone acting like I'mo bad!?  They are hurting people who care about me.  They keep spying on me picking at every little thing I think in a way or often.  What was done to me was wrong, and I was trying to see if I could fix the problem.  People can't ruin my life.  They want me to examine myself.  I know my intentions, and they are not bad.  I don't listen to wrong things.

It's about what everyone knows is right, not other opinions.  If I have a hard time, you shouldn't set me up for this trouble.

Why does Ellen DeGeneres see me as a bad person?  Why does she injure me emotionally, etc., if she finds something she disagrees with?  Everyone is important, not just her wrath at everything.

Who's causing problems, anyway, people who don't believe in fighting them?

I'm sorry, with what I've adjusted if any of this sounds annoying or something.  Sorry about mentioning Ellen DeGeneres so much, but why does she act like she did it sometimes?  Ugh!  Not sure how else to go on and make of it and be done explaining this.  I need to nap soon.  Not sure what to say now.  I was just out walking.