Thursday, January 7, 2016
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
Problem
Simply, all my dad had to do was "emit" an idea and Central Florida followed, that this the next day would be about Bella and not someone else I like. Supposedly, that person gave the command, which is disturbing. It was like it was "belched" out to the world and, like, with "little substance," "no intent nor purpose" described, just to p*** me off, tho it does not actually bother me in and of itself. If there is a reason, it's that people think I should be in trouble now and they became freely racist.
*Apology
*Apology
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Problems
Not sure if there's a problem here.
So, it all started out, maybe I had issues and some problems. I was pretty good, tho. My dad just is out to get me.
I was upset that so many times I get the wrong order when my parents order out. I just let out some emotion that I was upset cuz it broke me. My parents were all weird like, "Nah-ah." They want to know why I'm really mad. Well, it's not that fascinating. Anyway, then after being pretty good ignoring their being mean, my dad acted like, "Tomorrow it won't be about such and such anymore.. -it'll be about Bella." Cursing didn't come to my mind, no offense in mentioning etc. I was just upset. I know now that they just ignore me if I'm upset. No one is there for me! They keep being abusive and ruining my life outside of them. Everyone just goes with it.
So, I went for a walk. At 1st I was upset at their repetitive panderings about someone in a way that wasn't nice. That over, I was upset at a racist and wanted to get at him as he passed in his car. I should not be reading into things like that. Right after those 2 things quickly, I got over it and ignored people in the end. Something must have hit home, it frustrated me.. cars came by and listened to what my dad relayed. They acted like it was all over for our celebrating but in a way that affected what I did. I didn't want to be mean but made a face, a simple upset face maybe cuz my face is ruined. I don't think I was trying to "make a face." They ignored me mostly. I smoothly figured out what was wrong after. I didn't curse or anything.
It's just you can't threaten me like that. "It's not about such and such." A day. I can't live on the spur of the moment. Those people took it too seriously. It's up to what's best and wanted by the person.
So, it all started out, maybe I had issues and some problems. I was pretty good, tho. My dad just is out to get me.
I was upset that so many times I get the wrong order when my parents order out. I just let out some emotion that I was upset cuz it broke me. My parents were all weird like, "Nah-ah." They want to know why I'm really mad. Well, it's not that fascinating. Anyway, then after being pretty good ignoring their being mean, my dad acted like, "Tomorrow it won't be about such and such anymore.. -it'll be about Bella." Cursing didn't come to my mind, no offense in mentioning etc. I was just upset. I know now that they just ignore me if I'm upset. No one is there for me! They keep being abusive and ruining my life outside of them. Everyone just goes with it.
So, I went for a walk. At 1st I was upset at their repetitive panderings about someone in a way that wasn't nice. That over, I was upset at a racist and wanted to get at him as he passed in his car. I should not be reading into things like that. Right after those 2 things quickly, I got over it and ignored people in the end. Something must have hit home, it frustrated me.. cars came by and listened to what my dad relayed. They acted like it was all over for our celebrating but in a way that affected what I did. I didn't want to be mean but made a face, a simple upset face maybe cuz my face is ruined. I don't think I was trying to "make a face." They ignored me mostly. I smoothly figured out what was wrong after. I didn't curse or anything.
It's just you can't threaten me like that. "It's not about such and such." A day. I can't live on the spur of the moment. Those people took it too seriously. It's up to what's best and wanted by the person.
How much do you wanna handle?
It's hard to believe the tantrums some people have who already have "too much."
I don't know what to do, I've made an enemy
Ellen DeGeneres decided to be my enemy, but maybe it would partly be like that regardless of her reasons. I realize in some ways she's not, but she thinks I'm bad and she's doing what she's supposed to when she can catch something that's not perfect. That's not normal is the problem. I'm just saying. I did find she might be like that anyway. It's just very silly to be an "enemy" of someone who does not want to be your enemy.
Problem
Why is Ellen DeGeneres always getting at me for the past and things that had legitimate reasons from my part yet not the other? Why is anyone else, too?
Problem
They are suggesting that what I post online doesn't matter to anyone I like cuz I took a survey online and admitted something I had said as a yes. Just saying. They pretty much have everyone locked up with the experimenting/spying on me. It just seems ridiculous to have my blog ignored but me be in contact via whatever they say about me in private. I feel like they're just putting on a show for each other for little things that happen that I don't know about at the time to do or not. I know Ellen DeGeneres used to pay attention online but stopped after she did something and I posted about it and used an inappropriate "adult" word. I think they are having everyone ignore me cuza her.
Monday, January 4, 2016
Apology
I was maybe a little surprised after a nap and some chores to go outside and find all the cars rushing towards me with the same message. I should have just ignored them.
I was upset and later acted like they did for a taste of their own medicine.
Why are the experimenters being bad to me now? Should I just ignore that, too? I can think what I want and realized I was a bit confused with the cars ripping by. I said sorry things weren't perfect. They want to move this into my life now. They are taking advantage of our friendship.
Believe me, these cars were cutting thru. They just don't get that.
I was upset and later acted like they did for a taste of their own medicine.
Why are the experimenters being bad to me now? Should I just ignore that, too? I can think what I want and realized I was a bit confused with the cars ripping by. I said sorry things weren't perfect. They want to move this into my life now. They are taking advantage of our friendship.
Believe me, these cars were cutting thru. They just don't get that.
Problems
My grandma and oldest aunt have been creeping around me so I can't think of happy thoughts by interrupting me.
Worried
Whenever I'm almost home, I get some negative message from cars.
I was so tired, and someone just clucked up that something was made for someone, I was so tired, and the cars roared past and made me or helped me think negatively when I couldn't think at 1st. I realized it at 1st. I tried to think thru to the point myself for some reason and tried to round it off positively.
I was so tired, and someone just clucked up that something was made for someone, I was so tired, and the cars roared past and made me or helped me think negatively when I couldn't think at 1st. I realized it at 1st. I tried to think thru to the point myself for some reason and tried to round it off positively.
Devastated
I was in bed and almost asleep or sorta asleep. They said when I think of something from someone that I think of someone else, or when I "do 'the real thing.'' It is prominent in my life, and it kept coming to mind. I was devastated and couldn't get myself to feel better, maybe in bed over an hour, f***ed. It hasn't exactly gone away, but I've recently avoiding thinking of it.
Friday, January 1, 2016
Problem
I just went to get some water and my parents were still there. My mom seemed "self-satisfied." My dad didn't say hi. I had my earplugs on and said hi. He usually says hi.
Look, I wasn't that bad. I just didn't realize the way it seemed. Technically, I made it.
Now, they are attaching the death of Natalie Cole to my favorite holiday and when I might have a kid someday. They are picking at me like my mom was right and I was wrong. It's suggestive and inappropriate to do.
My dad was being mean saying, "It's like the death of Audrey," whistling, self-satisfied like I'm not that good.
You know, I can't trust these people, anymore. For *beep* sake I was just going to get water and check Twitter and find this.
Is the only place I'm safe church? Or away from people like my parents at times? My mom even said maybe we're too close, which is weird it would happen.
My dad doesn't get it that I disagree it seems, just keeps doing things against me. He keeps acting like I'm bad now secretly but won't admit it so I can stop him. I am not bad. What is this? More fighting against me as I pass in for water? I understand if he's a certain way with some things, but it shouldn't be all this fake telling me I'm bad. That's where he draws it from.
I'm running out of brainpower.
So, I used to be more physical when mad. Now, I just feel taken aback and report it here. I did take that into account. Curse words have come. What's the matter with me? I tried not telling my mom she bothered me yesterday. I just set out to deal with people and racism. I could not trust anyone. I didn't want to be vicious, but people actually shook their head to my face. I cleared my throat and tried to get them to stop and accept me and make it seem right. They were bad. They smiled bemusedly too. Most people here smile bemusedly. They act like I'm just some desperate s***. What did I do, then? I realize it's not good for me. But what, is this the cause of something? It sounds like Ellen DeGeneres did it.
Do you know why my dad and people act tackily like they're "just acting like me?" He thinks he's taking care of his oldest sister by being mean to me.
Okay, not sure what all else to say. Sorry this post is not so clean, neither. I tried.
Look, I wasn't that bad. I just didn't realize the way it seemed. Technically, I made it.
Now, they are attaching the death of Natalie Cole to my favorite holiday and when I might have a kid someday. They are picking at me like my mom was right and I was wrong. It's suggestive and inappropriate to do.
My dad was being mean saying, "It's like the death of Audrey," whistling, self-satisfied like I'm not that good.
You know, I can't trust these people, anymore. For *beep* sake I was just going to get water and check Twitter and find this.
Is the only place I'm safe church? Or away from people like my parents at times? My mom even said maybe we're too close, which is weird it would happen.
My dad doesn't get it that I disagree it seems, just keeps doing things against me. He keeps acting like I'm bad now secretly but won't admit it so I can stop him. I am not bad. What is this? More fighting against me as I pass in for water? I understand if he's a certain way with some things, but it shouldn't be all this fake telling me I'm bad. That's where he draws it from.
I'm running out of brainpower.
So, I used to be more physical when mad. Now, I just feel taken aback and report it here. I did take that into account. Curse words have come. What's the matter with me? I tried not telling my mom she bothered me yesterday. I just set out to deal with people and racism. I could not trust anyone. I didn't want to be vicious, but people actually shook their head to my face. I cleared my throat and tried to get them to stop and accept me and make it seem right. They were bad. They smiled bemusedly too. Most people here smile bemusedly. They act like I'm just some desperate s***. What did I do, then? I realize it's not good for me. But what, is this the cause of something? It sounds like Ellen DeGeneres did it.
Do you know why my dad and people act tackily like they're "just acting like me?" He thinks he's taking care of his oldest sister by being mean to me.
Okay, not sure what all else to say. Sorry this post is not so clean, neither. I tried.
Problems
Someone is k***ed because of problems to do with me? It sounds superstitious and false, not a reason but a punishment.
I am afraid they want a relationship I have to end and not mean anything by bribing me with things like this and having me not talk about them or some such as the bargain. This is silly. My dad also keeps telling me things like that, like, "Don't do this or else this," and another catch. It's like someone I like started it and he's partly just the messenger.
I feel that my life has high points that are given up for others, like it has to be for them more or something.
It's like they keep telling me I can't have a relationship I have.
This is all for no good reason. You'll find it doesn't matter if an even bigger problem arises. This is not okay. I dunno, I think my dad is doing it, too.
I know the writing isn't exactly poetic, but I haven't tried to say anything bad.
No one has the right and grace to be mean to me like that.
Life only lasts so long, too. If you're looking for the end, there it is.
I think this was a surprise.
Sorry again, I know this isn't good writing like the last post. I just wanted to say that things are being done to stress me out like I can't do things cuza things I've done that shouldn't matter to people in my life now. I edited it a little bit of it. I might nap now. I was on a walk before. I read over it a few times, and I just need to stop. It's like I'm getting dizzy, but not physically.
I am afraid they want a relationship I have to end and not mean anything by bribing me with things like this and having me not talk about them or some such as the bargain. This is silly. My dad also keeps telling me things like that, like, "Don't do this or else this," and another catch. It's like someone I like started it and he's partly just the messenger.
I feel that my life has high points that are given up for others, like it has to be for them more or something.
It's like they keep telling me I can't have a relationship I have.
This is all for no good reason. You'll find it doesn't matter if an even bigger problem arises. This is not okay. I dunno, I think my dad is doing it, too.
I know the writing isn't exactly poetic, but I haven't tried to say anything bad.
No one has the right and grace to be mean to me like that.
Life only lasts so long, too. If you're looking for the end, there it is.
I think this was a surprise.
Sorry again, I know this isn't good writing like the last post. I just wanted to say that things are being done to stress me out like I can't do things cuza things I've done that shouldn't matter to people in my life now. I edited it a little bit of it. I might nap now. I was on a walk before. I read over it a few times, and I just need to stop. It's like I'm getting dizzy, but not physically.
Strange, Suspicious Deaths
Natalie Cole just died. I found out checking Twitter. So, we remember her death on the New Year? That's going to be tragic.
Sometimes, I wonder if Ellen DeGeneres is having people die and get killed because of things I've done, but I hope nothing like that is happening. You know, I am being experimented or spied on. They never were mean like this before, roughhousing me.
I think I'm pretty good. When I am upset in some way there is a legitimate reason. I am proper as I can around who I am around.
Ellen DeGeneres seems to be doing this because I cursed about the hurtful, illegal noises she put in my room.
The people experimenting on me are acting weird, too.
I feel I'm being pursued, hunted down. Ellen DeGeneres seems to be behind it, for some reason. She seemed to act like she was, and my oldest aunt thought it was overly obvious and without a question.
They are being mean to me now whereas before they drew me in to their experimentation or spying with positive messages, and I said they didn't have to do it. They think my flunking and getting mad punching holes in my wall is the reason.
It seems that when someone gets told off, it happens once. With me, they aren't stopping.
You know, it seems like her death was planned for the New Year, my favorite holiday and when I hoped then if I have kids to have one of them then.. It sounds like they were picking at me telling me to live with Chinese-Indonesians and forget my life. I told my mom what I was thinking. I wasn't being bad. She was. She kept making me feel bad.
So, supposedly, Ellen DeGeneres or the experimenters know I like the New Year and to have a child around then maybe and everyone involved in my life is just okay with this, all these deaths made to stimulate me at certain times and tell me I'm bad when I'm not and they are.
Before people complimented me for who I was kinda a lot. Now, they are saying I've done bad things no one knew and are being mean and getting mad at me when they're mean and I defend myself. I was just having a conversation. I wasn't yelling really. They keep picking at me like I'm bad and doing these things like they don't matter.
They just said someone I liked did it! Why do they keep shocking me? For some reason, it reminds me of Ellen DeGeneres. They keep acting like I was bad.
I don't mean for you to think I'm being mean to Ellen DeGeneres, as I'm not. She acts like she is doing this and my oldest aunt is, too. Why is everyone acting like I'mo bad!? They are hurting people who care about me. They keep spying on me picking at every little thing I think in a way or often. What was done to me was wrong, and I was trying to see if I could fix the problem. People can't ruin my life. They want me to examine myself. I know my intentions, and they are not bad. I don't listen to wrong things.
It's about what everyone knows is right, not other opinions. If I have a hard time, you shouldn't set me up for this trouble.
Why does Ellen DeGeneres see me as a bad person? Why does she injure me emotionally, etc., if she finds something she disagrees with? Everyone is important, not just her wrath at everything.
Who's causing problems, anyway, people who don't believe in fighting them?
I'm sorry, with what I've adjusted if any of this sounds annoying or something. Sorry about mentioning Ellen DeGeneres so much, but why does she act like she did it sometimes? Ugh! Not sure how else to go on and make of it and be done explaining this. I need to nap soon. Not sure what to say now. I was just out walking.
Sometimes, I wonder if Ellen DeGeneres is having people die and get killed because of things I've done, but I hope nothing like that is happening. You know, I am being experimented or spied on. They never were mean like this before, roughhousing me.
I think I'm pretty good. When I am upset in some way there is a legitimate reason. I am proper as I can around who I am around.
Ellen DeGeneres seems to be doing this because I cursed about the hurtful, illegal noises she put in my room.
The people experimenting on me are acting weird, too.
I feel I'm being pursued, hunted down. Ellen DeGeneres seems to be behind it, for some reason. She seemed to act like she was, and my oldest aunt thought it was overly obvious and without a question.
They are being mean to me now whereas before they drew me in to their experimentation or spying with positive messages, and I said they didn't have to do it. They think my flunking and getting mad punching holes in my wall is the reason.
It seems that when someone gets told off, it happens once. With me, they aren't stopping.
You know, it seems like her death was planned for the New Year, my favorite holiday and when I hoped then if I have kids to have one of them then.. It sounds like they were picking at me telling me to live with Chinese-Indonesians and forget my life. I told my mom what I was thinking. I wasn't being bad. She was. She kept making me feel bad.
So, supposedly, Ellen DeGeneres or the experimenters know I like the New Year and to have a child around then maybe and everyone involved in my life is just okay with this, all these deaths made to stimulate me at certain times and tell me I'm bad when I'm not and they are.
Before people complimented me for who I was kinda a lot. Now, they are saying I've done bad things no one knew and are being mean and getting mad at me when they're mean and I defend myself. I was just having a conversation. I wasn't yelling really. They keep picking at me like I'm bad and doing these things like they don't matter.
They just said someone I liked did it! Why do they keep shocking me? For some reason, it reminds me of Ellen DeGeneres. They keep acting like I was bad.
I don't mean for you to think I'm being mean to Ellen DeGeneres, as I'm not. She acts like she is doing this and my oldest aunt is, too. Why is everyone acting like I'mo bad!? They are hurting people who care about me. They keep spying on me picking at every little thing I think in a way or often. What was done to me was wrong, and I was trying to see if I could fix the problem. People can't ruin my life. They want me to examine myself. I know my intentions, and they are not bad. I don't listen to wrong things.
It's about what everyone knows is right, not other opinions. If I have a hard time, you shouldn't set me up for this trouble.
Why does Ellen DeGeneres see me as a bad person? Why does she injure me emotionally, etc., if she finds something she disagrees with? Everyone is important, not just her wrath at everything.
Who's causing problems, anyway, people who don't believe in fighting them?
I'm sorry, with what I've adjusted if any of this sounds annoying or something. Sorry about mentioning Ellen DeGeneres so much, but why does she act like she did it sometimes? Ugh! Not sure how else to go on and make of it and be done explaining this. I need to nap soon. Not sure what to say now. I was just out walking.
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